Gay friendly cities

[waccamatt]

Queer has a negative reputation, but as a GLBT political activist I have taken the term and reclaimed it. Queer is an umbrella term for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender, Questioning, and everything in between. It is a label that the GLBT community should reclaim back from those who declare "queer" to mean stupid, weird, or abnormal.

I felt it necessary to say because there are some members of the political community who would not say that are hardline "gay", and I respect that.

=)

[Carter711]

This might get me a little grief, but...

I think the gay movement should drop the transgender push, and maybe even tone down some of the craziness at the pride parades. Let's face it, many many parts of this country have not accepted gays, much less embraced them, and many are even hostile toward them. When the housewife in Kentucky sees the transgenders or the crazy costumes at the parade on TV, it's easy for her to 'dehumanize' gays in general. But I do think progress is made. I credit programs like "Will & Grace" and even "Queer Eye" for putting a human face on homosexuality. Remember it was only a few years ago that ABC made "Ellen" run a special warning before her coming out episode aired.

Ultimately, I think people, even conservative ones, will accept gay people when they see them as regular folks just trying to get by. How can you discriminate against regular folks? But when the TV sets splash images of guys decked out in drag, it's easier for people to turn their backs and vote for gay marriage bans in record numbers.

Movements in America can be successful, but they move slowly - it takes people a long while to come around. If the gay movement presents the image of average people, who happen to be gay, struggling with every day issues ,hen I think that process will be greatly expedited. Working towards acceptance of transgenders, etc, can come later.

[Cotuit]

When the bill gets out of committee (possibly this session), the RI House is ready to pass it. The Senate is a little more dicey but possible if the Senate Pres. doesn't block it.

[Statesman]

According to some friends who work with Fogarty, the Lt. Governor would advocate for marriage equality as Governor. If it passes the Assembly, he will sign it into law, or so it seems.

Yay!

[suburban george3]

This might get me a little grief, but...

I think the gay movement should drop the transgender push, and maybe even tone down some of the craziness at the pride parades.

But when the TV sets splash images of guys decked out in drag, it's easier for people to turn their backs and vote for gay marriage bans in record numbers.

Working towards acceptance of transgenders, etc, can come later.

[CtownMikey]

blah I dont see why homosexuals need multiple definitions for their sexuality..

[waccamatt]

This might get me a little grief, but...

I think the gay movement should drop the transgender push, and maybe even tone down some of the craziness at the pride parades. Let's face it, many many parts of this country have not accepted gays, much less embraced them, and many are even hostile toward them. When the housewife in Kentucky sees the transgenders or the crazy costumes at the parade on TV, it's easy for her to 'dehumanize' gays in general. But I do think progress is made. I credit programs like "Will & Grace" and even "Queer Eye" for putting a human face on homosexuality. Remember it was only a few years ago that ABC made "Ellen" run a special warning before her coming out episode aired.

Ultimately, I think people, even conservative ones, will accept gay people when they see them as regular folks just trying to get by. How can you discriminate against regular folks? But when the TV sets splash images of guys decked out in drag, it's easier for people to turn their backs and vote for gay marriage bans in record numbers.

Movements in America can be successful, but they move slowly - it takes people a long while to come around. If the gay movement presents the image of average people, who happen to be gay, struggling with every day issues ,hen I think that process will be greatly expedited. Working towards acceptance of transgenders, etc, can come later.

[Statesman]

The current accepted definition for sexual orientation (That i agree with as both a political activist AND psychology major) is that SO is "The Physical, Sexual, Emotional, Intellectual, and Spiritual attraction to someone."

That definition is why there is so much diversity in sexuality and SO, and why many view it as "fluid". That shouldn't be construed to mean it's a choice, though...careful with how words are interpreted =).

That aside, I identify as gay. I find women to be attractive, but I don't really feel confortable being sexual with one. Growing up with the various role-models and stereotypes that I and those in my generation did, I do act "flamey". However, if I had to identify with a stereotype or generalization, I would be closer to the "teenage punk boy" than the "Flamboyant gay boy" one. I walk around in jeans (That don't have to be from Abercrombie), t-shirts with band logos or statements, a few bracelets, and a conservative 'gay-flip haircut.

Our community is extremely diverse. I have had queer people chastise me for "not looking like a gay boy", and I've also been told I looked like a flamer. Something that is happening in society today (moreso in Europe) is that the stereotypes are blending. You have gay men wearing ghetto-loose clothing. Straight girls wearing hoodies and baseball caps. Striaght boys wearing girls' jeans and three belts. Lesbians wearing skirts and buuble-gum pink baseball T-shirts. And then you have the drag kings/queens, the extreme in gender-bending clothing choices.

Something to remember: Clothing for people and society is like the feathers on a peacock. It's meant to express individual style, and attract a mate, when you break it down to it's most basic biological and psychological function. The way we act is similar, in my opinion.

I find it utterly fascinating to observe the different people who frequent Gay pRIde events, and quite honestly any gathering of people.

[Chtimi]

Then by 1995 there was a drag queen invasion in the medias , and helped the French society feels more at ease with gays.

It's true that there are more and more pubes hairdressers because of those loose-pants.

Don't trust the so-called look gay and look h

[Recchia]

The only thing I cannot stand about certain gay events is the blatant display of promiscuity that is part of some. This tends to reinforce the stereotype that gay=promiscuous and just gives conservative-minded people one more reason to criticize gays. I hate it when stereotypes play themselves out and this is one in particular that I can't stand. Not everyone who is gay is out wearing a white thong doing fellatio movements walking down the street, yet when people see this at an event they can't help but think otherwise. Not that I'm against people expressing themselves, but I don't see how it must be the entire focus of an event. I'd much rather attend a rally in support of equal marriage rights than a pride parade, even though they can be lots of fun!

[runawayjim]

The only thing I cannot stand about certain gay events is the blatant display of promiscuity that is part of some. This tends to reinforce the stereotype that gay=promiscuous and just gives conservative-minded people one more reason to criticize gays. I hate it when stereotypes play themselves out and this is one in particular that I can't stand. Not everyone who is gay is out wearing a white thong doing fellatio movements walking down the street, yet when people see this at an event they can't help but think otherwise. Not that I'm against people expressing themselves, but I don't see how it must be the entire focus of an event. I'd much rather attend a rally in support of equal marriage rights than a pride parade, even though they can be lots of fun!

[Chtimi]

The only thing I cannot stand about certain gay events is the blatant display of promiscuity that is part of some. This tends to reinforce the stereotype that gay=promiscuous and just gives conservative-minded people one more reason to criticize gays. I hate it when stereotypes play themselves out and this is one in particular that I can't stand. Not everyone who is gay is out wearing a white thong doing fellatio movements walking down the street, yet when people see this at an event they can't help but think otherwise. Not that I'm against people expressing themselves, but I don't see how it must be the entire focus of an event. I'd much rather attend a rally in support of equal marriage rights than a pride parade, even though they can be lots of fun!

[KJW]

I may get some grief for this as well..

I am gay but I have a hard time relating to the transgender part of our community, however, having said this they are part of our movement like it or not. They have been together with us fighting for recognition and the GLB's don't need to "cut-off" the T's.

[runawayjim]

Question:

If somehow a scientist is able to prove that gayness is neither an inborn nor a genetic trait but is due 100% to environment and non-predetermined psychological factors...will the town he or she lives in automatically become the most "gay-unfriendly" one on the planet?

[VistaLakes01]

May I be so bold to say I never found Atlanta to be that liberal a city~~~

I think Orlando is as liberal, if not more so. Orlando is smaller, so the gay element is less apparent. I've vacationed in both cities many times and I prefer Orlando as a place to do "gay things".

[sunshine]

[Recchia]

i'm gonna catch some grief for this comment, but even at the gay clubs i've been to, promiscuity seems to be more prevalent than at "straight" clubs. i think that's a better place for it than on the streets during the pride parades, it should be toned down. i always thought of those to be more for getting publicity and showing people that you're out there and want to be heard and counted. but with some of the outrageousness at those events, it turns a lot of people off, including people who would normally be interested and welcoming of different lifestyles, opinions and views. i also think it should be a kid-friendly event, and i've seen some of the flyers handed out and they're not overly kid friendly.

[Chtimi]

Interesting...the transgender condition is different than "gayness". I know of M-t-F transsexuals who believe homosexuality is wrong, period. I've also heard some of these same people cite research in their community that a great deal of M-t-F transsexuals intend to live as lesbians after their surgery, and have seen this confirmed by a former Johns Hopkins chief of psychiatry. (Interestingly, after living for a time as a woman, post-op, many of these "lesbians" find their attractions shifting to men. Surprise, surprise.)

[Chtimi]

Yes, this is definitely my experience as well. I think it has more to do with male behavior. Males tend to be more promiscuous and open about their sexual desires than females, and since the majority of gay clubs are frequented by men, they seem to be more promiscuous than 'straight' clubs. This is a major generalization, however.

[Statesman]

Gender identity and sexual orientation are completely different concepts. Transgenderism in truth should not be lumped into the GLB movement, but it is because they face the same prejudice and persecution as queer people.

The transgender block of society is small. In fact, it is even a small minority of the GLB community...which means that there isnt a huge face and alot of money to put toward voicing change.

They group together for mutual and financial support, and becuase, while distinctly separate pieces of who we are, they can relate to one another.

[Charlotteman]

As far as gay male events being synonymous with promiscuity and sleazy sex, I heard something interesting years ago that I happen to agree with.

Question: "Why do gay guys go to parks and have sex behind bushes, and go to anonymous bathhouses?"

Answer: "The same reason hetero guys would be in the parks etc looking for sex, if they knew women were there looking for the same thing!"

Men are men. Most men are in enough control to keep their sexual impulses under control. Most men easily conform to societal norms of what is acceptable public/private sexual behavior. But there are some, I would guess a tiny minority, of gay men who enjoy expressing their sexuality in public.

I've had friends that enjoyed this kind of sexual entertainment. It has never appealed to me. I like comfortable beds, not parks:) lol

But to reiterate my point, lots of hetero men would be in the parks too, if women were there for the same reason!

[lammius]

This is getting WAYYYYYY

To get back on, it's always been my impression that pretty much any metro over 1 million people is going to have some sort of visible GLBT community, and will be a place that GLBT persons probably shouldn't be in constant fear of hate crimes, etc.

Unfortunately I've lived in smaller areas where it's much more difficult to be out.

IMO the friendliest places are those where there are safe places and means by which GLBT persons can meet one another (not parks or websites), where the general population is socially progressive, and where various levels of protections (sexual orientation included in anti-discrimination, domestic partner benefits, civil unions, marriage, etc).

[Cotuit]

Don't worry Recchia, straights are not less "promiscuous".

[socaguy]

I agree; ever since the Queer Nation activist groups in the early 90's, our community has reclaimed the word, though it can still be used maliciously by some straight people. I still have my old Queer Nation Columbia t-shirt around here somewhere. Some of my favorite activist events were sponsored by Queer Nation and, yes, we had a chapter here in Columbia, which I also consider to be a gay-friendly city, especially considering we're in South Carolina. I'm glad to hear such good things about Providence; maybe I'll spend some time there on my next trip up to Provincetown.

[Statesman]

Not quite related to this discussion, but to trumpet RI's general situation a little more: The University of Rhode Island, our state uni., was ranked recently in the top 100 most gay-friendly and supporting colleges in the country. =)

http://www.uri.edu/news/releases/?id=3662