Gay friendly cities

[Jerry2]

I don't think the world is ready for gay marriage as a whole. If it were ever a ballot question in RI, I wouldn't deny it or vote against it. However, I have a different opinion on the matter. Maybe I'm ignorant because I've never experienced hate or prejudice. Maybe Providence is a "gay-friendly" city and I've never lived in the "bible belt" or somewhere that would frown upon me for what I do in my private life. Whatever the case is, my life has never revolved around me being gay. I don't live my life as a repressed outcast of society waiting for salvation. I don't bond with people simply because they're gay and we have " so much" in common. Anyone that draws attention to themselves in a provocative manner, straight or gay, to make some sort of statement is trashy and low-class.

There is a tremendous amount of inner hate between gays when someone doesn't agree with one of "our" agendas. In other words, if you even question the whole gay marriage issue, you are chastised and castigated to the pits of hell. The overwhelming majority of people in this country are not comfortable with gay marriage. They feel that the whole issue is being pushed down their throats and I think...rightfully so. I...personally...would feel comfortable with protected status and domestic partnership laws on a federal level that protect gays against discrimination and give couples the right to have their status protected. This state case-by-case battle is futile and unproductive. The whole escalation of the gay marriage issue has its roots based solely on the gay community wanting to be equal...and we should have equal rights...but forcing the ceremony of "equality" ( marriage ) to define the unity of 2 people of the same sex is not what mainstream America and most of the world wants. If there were a federal domestic partnership law set across the land, you would see more acceptance and less hostility even in the more "unfriendly" places.

[BrandonTO416]

^My viewpoint is that having civil unions or domestic partnership laws are the same thing as "separate but equal" and we've had a demonstrated past on this issue.

Separate but equal is not a good philosophy. Defining "gay marriage" as a domestic partnership or civic union is nothing more than covering it up and calling it something else as an imitation of what you are really trying to allow for anyway.

I used to think much the same way, why does the wording matter, why not just push for civil unions? Then it dawned on me after studying history and really understanding the issue. It essentially IS separate but equal. When you look at it from that perspective, an imitation of the real thing is not what we want.

There are other issues at play here, such as the tradition of marriage as we know it. Most people of modern time don't realize that slaves didn't have the ability to marry until well AFTER the civil war. And in many southern states it wasn't allowed until years AFTER the civil war.

Women in the 1800's and early 1900's marriages were, under many circumstances, considered property. They obeyed their men and didn't have much say in their own lives.

One of the reasons families were so "stable" in the 1800's is that if a man was sleeping around on his wife and not coming in until after 10pm, even if the wife eventually found out, she didn't have a choice in the matter. She was forced by society to remain married and loyal to a sterile home environment. She was property, to be used for cooking and cleaning and a servant to the man.

In modern times even "traditional marriage" is nothing like it was between men and women. Modern marriage between a man and a woman is far different than even what it meant 100 years ago, forget the gay issue. Most people don't even think about the legalities of marriage.

Marriage and gender equality is the correct pathway to take. Gay, straight, or whatever.

[BrandonTO416]

u had to use the word queer???

[waccamatt]

You consider Columbia SC a gay friendly city and not Atlanta? Im not saying you said Atlanta was not gay friendly but you implied it. Something is weird here???

[Bartholomew]

An argument could be made that every city, town, and village in Massachusetts, Connecticut, and Vermont are more gay friendly than any other place in the nation as these states are the only three that legally recognize gay relationships. Massachusetts with marriage and Connecticut and Vermont with civil unions.

A gay couple can legally marry in Springfield, Massachusetts but can not in New York, Miami, or L.A. So which of these 4 cities is more gay friendly?

I say Springfield.

[runawayjim]

An argument could be made that every city, town, and village in Massachusetts, Connecticut, and Vermont are more gay friendly than any other place in the nation as these states are the only three that legally recognize gay relationships. Massachusetts with marriage and Connecticut and Vermont with civil unions.

A gay couple can legally marry in Springfield, Massachusetts but can not in New York, Miami, or L.A. So which of these 4 cities is more gay friendly?

I say Springfield.

[skylinefan]

It sounds like gay friendly has different definitions. Is it the ability for same sex couples to hold hands in public without being noticed, is it the right to marry, is it domestic partnership and civil unions? Or is it all of the above.

I think whether a city is gay friendly or not has alot to do with the atmosphere or whether or not a openly gay person feels comfortable being his or herself.

[BrandonTO416]

Gay friendliness is all of the above.

Part of it is social atmosphere, how comfortable to you feel showing public affection. The other 50% is do you get legal equality?

[runawayjim]

Gay friendliness is all of the above.

Part of it is social atmosphere, how comfortable to you feel showing public affection. The other 50% is do you get legal equality?

[BrandonTO416]

I agree social atmosphere is as much as anything.

Something I find humorous though is that people who live in gay friendly neighborhoods in otherwise not very gay friendly metropolitan areas think they live in some kind of gay dream world.

Voting records on ballot issues like gay marriage amendments really do show you where the gay friendly and unfriendly areas are, not so much political party races.

[Bartholomew]

just because you can legally marry in springfield does not make it more friendly to gays than a place like new york (which i would contend is more gay friendly than springfield).

[Bartholomew]

If gay couples can marry in Massachusetts and obtain Civil Union status in Connecticut and Vermont it goes a long way in sending the message that the people of those states are accepting. The fact that all three are adjacent New England states shows you what region of the country is most tolerant of the issue.

As a gay man, I would mush rather live in a completely region of the country open to the lifestyle than in a small Gay Ghetto completly surrounded by those who have a problem with it.

[Chtimi]

If gay couples can marry in Massachusetts and obtain Civil Union status in Connecticut and Vermont it goes a long way in sending the message that the people of those states are accepting. The fact that all three are adjacent New England states shows you what region of the country is most tolerant of the issue.

As a gay man, I would mush rather live in a completely region of the country open to the lifestyle than in a small Gay Ghetto completly surrounded by those who have a problem with it.

[Walker Evans]

I know it's been mentioned here a few times, but I have to give some props to my hometown of Columbus, as it's been listed in many publications as one of the top gay-friendly cities in the U.S. We have several large companies headquarted here with good gay-friendly work policies, several booming gay neighborhoods (Short North, German Village, Olde Town East), a whole slew of gay businesses and business owners throughout the city, and a large college demographic that tends to be more accepting than some of the older generations.

All in all, a pretty great place for diverse lifestyles.

ColumbusUnderground.com

[Statesman]

RHode Island's General Assembly would compeltely back civil unions, but the advoates here won't settle for CU's. They/We want marriage.

Rougher road, better accomplishment in the long run.

[waccamatt]

My definition of gay-friendly is that you don't feel the need to censor yourself and your actions in any way...whether that is your speech, public affection, etc. There are certainly degrees of comfort.

[BrandonTO416]

As a gay man, I would mush rather live in a region of the country open to the lifestyle than in a small Gay Ghetto completly surrounded by those who have a problem with it. Atlanta and Dallas come to mind. Give me Boston, Hartford, or Burlington any day.

[Carter711]

RHode Island's General Assembly would compeltely back civil unions, but the advoates here won't settle for CU's. They/We want marriage.

Rougher road, better accomplishment in the long run.

[runawayjim]

That's an interesting strategy. Would this be something that the whole state would vote on, like a proposition, or would it be handled entirely thru the legislature/gov.?

I interned in the Connecticut General Assembly when the civil unions bill went through. A couple days before it went through the phones just went nuts with church groups calling in, e-mail boxes were filled w/ form letters. Almost all of it was from out of state, but it was enough to scare the legislators into attaching a law banning gay marriage as well.

New England does look like its leading the way on this, for America at least.

-In Massachusetts, Democratic candidate for governor DeVal Patrick is not shy in his support for gay marriage. He is expected to win the race. His republican challenger, Kerry Healey, supports civil unions.

-In more conservative New Hampshire, the governor has strongly hinted he'd sign a civil unions bill, and if the Democrats can pick up the State Senate this year then I think there's a pretty decent chance it will go thru this session. There's also been some about it in Maine as well.

-No state in New England has expressed even the slightest interest in hopping on the Gay Marriage Ban Amendment bandwagon, a national phenomenon which 20 states have already passed with a 100% approval rate (in some places the bans have received more than 80% of the vote! ) .

[Cotuit]

Rhode Island's General Assembly would compeltely back civil unions, but the advoates here won't settle for CU's. They/We want marriage.

Rougher road, better accomplishment in the long run.

[Chtimi]

My definition of gay-friendly is that you don't feel the need to censor yourself and your actions in any way...whether that is your speech, public affection, etc. There are certainly degrees of comfort.

[Chtimi]

For me its a bigger issue than homosexuality. The entire way of life, the things people choose, and the concept of what people are for in a political sense come into play for me.

I don't understand many people who live in a "gay ghetto" or an area of an otherwise hostile metropolitan area and consider it to be a progressive, open minded, well intentioned area. Its like many people put on blinders and avoid the reality that surrounds them just because their network of friends are open minded and they themselves haven't been unlucky enough to run into the other side of the fence. You can find people who have lived 20 years in a relatively anti-gay area and they may think its a friendly place.

Moving back to what I said earlier, for my personal tastes, its important for me to live in an area where people are socially aware. Where people have a level of understanding, compassion for one another, an interest in equality that is higher than just one single issue. Gay issues are a part of this.

There are a scant few areas in the world that are really enlightened places to be. All that can be said is that we as human beings aren't as advanced as we think we are.

At this point in our history, its incomprehensible that Bush is actually President right now. Its incomprehensible that we are even debating the chance that the current establishment party may retain even one house of Congress.

Its incomprehensible that we don't have more than two voices to serve our people, although you have to choose your battles intelligently and play the cards you're given.

I wished we could have so much change in this nation, but we have so many areas and people that are unenlightened and stick to tradition rather than equality, intelligence, and progression.

[davidals]

I've lived in the Triad for years, mainly in Winston-Salem. There is NOTHING about it that is Gay-Friendly (in my opinion). Yes we have a larger gay population, but that's with a lot of metro areas. Chapel Hill would have to be the only "true" gay-friend city in NC...it's the only one with domestic partner registration. The rest should be labeled as gay tolerant (excluding Asheville...it's an exception and to an extent Charlotte as well).

[Choirboy622]

Ultimately, I think people, even conservative ones, will accept gay people when they see them as regular folks just trying to get by. How can you discriminate against regular folks? But when the TV sets splash images of guys decked out in drag, it's easier for people to turn their backs and vote for gay marriage bans in record numbers.

[waccamatt]

I hope you are right, but I am not holding my breath. Conservatives in this country can be the most bigoted, bible-banging rednecks one could ever meet. I don't know that anything will get them to open up their minds, unless, perhaps one of their own family coming out to them.