Childhood Bullying

[voyager12]

I was teased quite often growing up. We had the classic neighborhood bully on my street in Philly. My friend and I would ride our bikes down the block and he would throw basketballs at us to knock us off our bikes. And pushed us into lockers at school. He was so mean. I hope he grew up and matured.

High School was rough too. I really kept to myself. A large part was internal conflict over accepting my sexuality and I was naturally shy to begin with. Being picked last for teams at gym class all the time is quite demoralizing! I had a horrible kid in most of my classes who would steal my backpack and pass it around the room, playing keep away. Cafeteria was a nogo for me. I ate with the teachers.

We were living on Hilton Head by the time I was in High School and my parents put me in Golf Camp one summer to "socialize". My bully from school was in the camp. And he drove our golf cart into the lagoon. Of course kids that tease others are often fighting their own internal demons and he picked on lots of kids. Brutally. A few years after High School he blew his head off in front of his family.

So did you bully other kids in school or were you teased too?

[Neo]

In middle school I was teased quite a bit, mostly for my big glasses and the way I dressed (khakis and a nice dress shirt). I was a member of Junior Beta Club, DECA, etc. so I'm sure that had something to do with it as well. I chose not to have a locker because I knew what would happen if I did, so I carried all of my books with me at all times which made me look like a super dork.

The biggest issue was during lunch when it was next to impossible to carry all of those books through the lunch line so I would pick a place to put my things down and have lunch. Unfortunately almost every day I would have Twinkies shoved in my backpack or have something taken. In high school I did what I could to change my image, unfortunately I probably worked a little too hard at it. I'm all grown up now and no longer need glasses (LASIK) and have a great job where I can wear jeans, but memories of middle school still horrify me at times. Something my wife wants me to get over since she is a middle school librarian (former teacher). The thought of helping to proctor middle school kids or visiting her during lunch spooks me, even now that I'm much bigger than they are.

[suburban george3]

So did you bully other kids in school or were you teased too?

[voyager12]

Oh wow, this memory just popped into my head. In Middle School I bribed a kid with Teddy Grahams every day so he would not beat me up I never fought back. My parents were not in favor of the "show them who is boss" style. They just told me to be nice and set a good example. A good idea in theory but it just made me a bigger target in the mean world of middle and high school.

[Gard]

I had some problems early on and it always ended in a fight. The bullies would always find me and I was not one to back down either, so it was always ugly. 3rd-5th grades were the worse for me. I went to one of those schools that screamed "oh, your kid is acting a certain way, so we think he has ADHD and we are going to require him to be on medications to come to school," which made things MUCH worse on me and on top of that, it comes out later that I really didn't have anything wrong. Fortunately schools are now banned from making such requirements with the passage of the Child Medication Safety Act.

Anyways, In addition to the bullies, I have teachers that hated me too, so they always stuck up for the bullies and I got the short end of the stick, which my parents always fought. By the end of 5th grade my parents were well networked with the newly-elected school board and the principal tried to expel me from school. My parents took it to the friends they made on the school board and with that, the school board reinstated me and asked for the principal's resignation. The school board proceeded to install a principal that was near retirement in the school and was VERY friendly towards me (he protected me like his own kid), even going as far as to take me out to lunch during school lunch hours. I also was put in a classroom with a teacher that was very protective of me as well. The school board also lifted the medication requirement and put me through extensive "rehabilitation" through 6th and 7th grades, invoking the Rehabilitation Act of 1973 and sending me to a Child Psychologist to help fix any damage that had been done. From that day forth, I NEVER had a problem with the schools.

After 7th grade, I didn't really have many problems, except off and on until 9th grade, when a kid thought he would be cool and pick on me, which backfired royally for him. The kid kept bugging me and pushing me off the bench in the locker room while I was getting dressed and minding my own business. The first time, I just ignored him. The second time, I got him by the throat slammed him up against the lockers, with a verbal warning not to do it again. He was dumb enough to do it again and I proceeded to beat him up and knock him out cold on the floor. He didn't even have time to fight back, it happened so quick lol. The other kids were laughing and cheering, like they do in the teen years and the teacher was in the office next door and didnt' even come out to see what happened. The girls must have heard the commotion in the boys locker room because they all came over and were laughing at that other kid as well. I never even got in trouble for the fight, no suspensions, no warnings or talking to, no nothing. It was like the teacher turned a blind eye to the whole thing.

After that, I was quite popular through highschool and had friends from the usual druggies, to sports jocks, to the geeky crowd. I was well-liked in highscool, by guys and girls alike. I was even elected king in our king & queen event in my junior year.

[The Voice of Reason]

Interesting thread.

Some of you guys were treated brutally.

I think most kids have a few tough moments and a nemesis or whatever, but sounds like for some it was much harder. I could not imagine dealing with gender preference issues, let alone in high school.

For me, I was just a smart kid that was a little awkward. I was lucky to not have glasses, and never got zits or braces, so I think I dodged a few bullets there. I guess I was known as a know it all and I was poor, so that was not helpful, so when middle school came around I suffered a little. Luckily my dad was a teacher in 7th grade, so people knew who I was. I also hated being a teachers kid because there is all kinds of carp associated with that (I got 2 detentions because my dads colleagues had higher stands for me and told me so while handing out detention) anyways I was in gifted and talented classes a lot so I think that sheltered me as well too.

By the time I got to High school, I was 5'11" 185lbs. I was a big wuss though and goofy. I definitely got picked on by a few kids in my class and now some older "cool" kids too. Most of that ended when a senior jock "tagged" me in the crotch as was the thing to do back in 1989. My immediate reaction was to punch him full force in the same location. He did not pick on my ever again, but I was really just lucky he didn

[dimebag1980]

As a high functioning autistic kid who was pathetic around people, I was bullied a lot in my younger years. When I became a teenager I started carrying a gun and joined a street gang, and the bullying stopped instantly. As soon as I had my ritualistic "jumping in" ceremony and was accepted, I had all the backup I ever needed from that moment on. I do not condone joining gangs, but the violence I was part of on a daily basis did prepare me mentally for my short stint in the Army fresh out of high school. Everything aside, I am now a very meek adult.

[Lowerdeck]

I didn't really have too many problems until my teenage years. Until I got to 7th and 8th grade anyway, that's when all the harassment started. The other kids started figuring out I wasn't like one of them (I have Asperger's). My mother then ordered the schools (via threatening to use lawsuits if not complied) to have teachers aides in my classes to still follow me around and then teach the other kids that I was different and about my issues. Needless to say, everything went down hill from there. My best friend and mutual friends also all left me, once my mother became a born again Christian and dragged the rest of the family into a Christian lifestyle. So he began spreading rumors and hate, in order to begin impressing his new friends - all of them together wound up developing drink and drug problems.

But for the most part, I was mostly left alone during high school. Some of the outcasts would make fun of me for the way I talked and other petty things, but then I mocked myself and then to get them off my case. Otherwise, I was mostly a loner, quiet and reserved, and kept to myself outside school. I can't recall getting beat up much, other than one time in 8th grade after a Packers/Dolphins game. I ticked off a Packers fan after a loss to the Dolphins, who then slammed my face into a desk and re-broke one of my front teeth.

[dimebag1980]

I didn't really have too many problems until my teenage years. Until I got to 7th and 8th grade anyway, that's when all the harassment started. The other kids started figuring out I wasn't like one of them (I have Asperger's). My mother then ordered the schools (via threatening to use lawsuits if not complied) to have teachers aides in my classes to still follow me around and then teach the other kids that I was different and about my issues. Needless to say, everything went down hill from there. My best friend and mutual friends also all left me, once my mother became a born again Christian and dragged the rest of the family into a Christian lifestyle. So he began spreading rumors and hate, in order to begin impressing his new friends - all of them together wound up developing drink and drug problems.

But for the most part, I was mostly left alone during high school. Some of the outcasts would make fun of me for the way I talked and other petty things, but then I mocked myself and then to get them off my case. Otherwise, I was mostly a loner, quiet and reserved, and kept to myself outside school. I can't recall getting beat up much, other than one time in 8th grade after a Packers/Dolphins game. I ticked off a Packers fan after a loss to the Dolphins, who then slammed my face into a desk and re-broke one of my front teeth.

[Charlotteman]

When I was in elementary school in N.C., classes were divided up into the "smart class", the "average classes" and the "dumb class". Since I was always in the "smart class", the bullies around me were rather benign.

I was definitely a bookworm, an un-sports kid. I never got beaten up, even though I was threatened a couple times. I was scared of being beaten up every day I went to school.

The bullying I suffered was psychological. Since I wasn't interested in sports, I was branded a "sissy" and completely ostracized by my classmates. I was the last one chosen for the "team". And no one wanted to sit with me at lunch either.

I certainly hope "choosing teams" is no longer being done these days. It seems so cruel to put kids in the situation of always being chosen "last". Teachers, principals, and parents should never tolerate kids being picked on----even psychologically.

p.s. I'm somewhere on the Aspergers spectrum too.