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Northwest Arkansas Barbies

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For the sake of perpetuating stereotypes...

Northwest Arkansas Barbies

Mattel recently announced the release of limited-edition Barbie Dolls for Northwest Arkansas....

Pinnacle Barbie

This princess Barbie is sold only at the Promenade. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade Handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey and a half million dollar, cookie-cutter house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with an augmented version.

Farmington Barbie

The modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar Minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation or secondary education. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately.

Bentonville Barbie

This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club membership. Also available for this set are Wal-Mart Exec. Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.

Centerton Barbie

This average suburbian homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Excursion or GMC Yukon. She has no full-time occupation and comes complete with homemaking and jogging outfits. Vendor Ken sold seperately with country club membership

Avoca Barbie

This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR t-shirt and a pack of Marlboro Lights. She has a six-pack of Bud light and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's butt when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.

Rogers Barbie

This collagen injected, rhinoplastic Barbie wears a leopard print outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends. Also available with a mobile home. Fake fingernails, and Percocet prescription available.

Huntsville Barbie

This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased beer-gutted Ken out of Oakhurst Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans and a see-through halter-top.

Springdale Barbie

This Spanish-speaking-only Barbie comes with a 1984 Toyota with expired temporary plates and three babies in the back, without car seats. This is the only Barbie who is willing to do manual labor. Ken comes in a Tyson Chicken uniform and is missing three fingers on his left hand. Green cards are not yet available for Springdale Barbie or Ken. Available at Wal-Mart Supercenter or Harps.

Bella Vista Barbie

This retired white haired Barbie comes complete with a cooking necesities and golf membership. Golf Carts and golf clothes sold seperately.

Dickson Street/ Washington Willow District Barbie

This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, archless feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her Willow. She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two "on the square" Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free.

Walton Arts Center Barbie

This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by simply adding or subtracting the multiple snap-on parts.....

Delaware County, Oklahoma Barbie

This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is only available after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable bills) ...unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.


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